SURVIVOR TESTIMONY

I am a female and am incarcerated in a county jail for now. I have been in here since September, 2006. I just came forward to the jail nurse that I was raped in here in October by a male inmate. No one knew and that’s the way I kept it. I feel so ashamed and have been withdrawn and depressed ever since it happened…None of this was supposed to come out. No one was supposed to know.

My nightmare is out now. Everyone knows. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. I cry every day, haven’t ate for 3 days, can’t sleep and I’m scared to death. I’m in jail and there are locks on every door, but I still don’t feel safe. I’ve never felt so many emotions at one time. The male inmate that violated me doesn’t know that I’ve told yet. I’m so afraid of him.

I had never heard of SPR until a friend of mine looked it up on her computer. She printed some information out and mailed it to me. As I read through it all, it gave me hope. I don’t feel alone anymore. There’s something I can actually do about it. Even though I am an inmate, I realize now that I still have rights. At this time I am talking with a rape crisis worker and a mental health counselor. I hope that someday soon, I can begin to heal. I can’t stress enough how important the information from SPR is to me. It gives me encouragement. Thank you!

-Lori, New York


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