Some of these stories are graphic, uncensored accounts of actual rapes and surrounding
circumstances. The language used may be raw and include street slang. JDI has made
only minor edits for spelling and clarity. The views expressed are those of the
individual survivor/author, and are not necessarily the views of Just Detention
I am on psychotropic medication for my medical diagnosis of Major Depression, Separation
Anxiety, Bi-Polar 1 Disorder and OCD. I am classified as a vulnerable inmate because
inmates have routinely taken advantage of me during my past anxiety attacks.
I am incarcerated in Texas and even though I reported my assault to a sergeant and
the previous chaplain I was warned to be quiet about the incident and let them handle
it. Of course, nothing was taken care of except that the people who were responsible
for my assault were informed of my attempt to alert the authorities. That only made
my life much worse. The beatings continued to the point that I wanted to kill myself
to escape the pain and torment I was facing every day. The public is never made
aware of what really happens inside prison. Since the general public cannot reach
inside these walls and see for itself what is happening in America’s prisons, I
can only hope that somebody will take the time to listen (or read) as I reach out
to tell my personal story.
My assaults were not just a fluke or a wrong place at the wrong time kind of story.
No, I was classified as “vulnerable” from the moment I walked in these doors. I
spent a year and three months at a transfer facility before being shipped to a regular
unit. Throughout the entire transient process I was treated as vulnerable and kept
from violent inmates. When I got to the regular unit the warden denied my request
stating that there wasn’t any reason to put me in safe keeping. As a result, I was
given a regular housing cell on a cell block that was very rough for weaker people.
The warden said I would get moved to better housing once I proved myself to the
The moment I walked on to the area in front of our cells, I was singled out by a
predator who wanted to know where I was from, because that would determine which
group of people I would be under. My first cellie was not bad, but I got moved.
[The new] cellie wasn’t so bad either, except that the company he kept thought I
was cute and would be useful for providing “favors.”
Even though I fought back to protect myself it was useless. They fought harder.
The very first time I was beat into submission I lost consciousness. My attacker
wrapped a towel around my head so I wouldn’t scream and used hair grease to force
himself inside me. When he finished, his partner forced me under threat to provide
oral sex for him. After a few days, they wanted me to provide more favors. I fought
to protect myself again. When I lost I was forced to provide the favors. After the
third time is when I decided to make things easier on myself and just allow these
men to do what they wanted because I couldn’t take much more of that. I was getting
beat and then raped, so why not just skip the beatings and get the other over with?
[After two months,] I was moved to a safer housing area and given a job in the kitchen
where I thought everything would be better. Unfortunately, friends of my attacker
worked there also and my second day there I was sexually assaulted. I was moved
to the laundry to work and it was calm for a month or two until I was given an order
by an officer to clean out a pipe chase. While I was cleaning the pipe chase I was
attacked and sexually assaulted again. There was no way for me to call for help
and the officer had left me in there by myself. See-thru doors would have prevented
this attack. I am unable to work at any job and am restricted from taking trade
My emotional condition is not the best and it’s very difficult to find hope on some
days. I reported the assaults, yet was accused of lying and told to keep my mouth
shut. If that wasn’t bad enough, the officials I was supposed to trust were the
ones who turned their backs to me and let it all continue. I have nightmares on
a regular basis and wet the bed two or three times per week. It’s so easy to say
what one might do when put in a situation like this, but it’s so different when
you’re actually in it.
- Richard, Texas