SURVIVOR TESTIMONY

Uncontrollable thoughts, uncontrollable pains, uncontrollable actions driving me insane
Cause I’m not the same person I used to be
Because a part of me has uncontrollably died
With the birth of my anger, bubbling inside
And with my g-swagger, I’m madder and badder than I ever was
No love, no hugs, fuck a kiss, my heart has this, and now is pissed
So again, I say, no kiss
The fist is firmly in your eye
Don’t ask why; you know why
You know what this is
Face down, ass up, my heart pounds with the anticipation of the fuck
I’m stuck, like a sitting duck
What the hell, pass the buck to the next one
Victim
Some of them, all of us, the bus of lust and pain has taken me on a bumpy ride
It’s hard because I’m the passenger while I drive
Too many blind spots to see them all
It hurts when you fall, but it hurts more when you can’t or won’t get up
Get up, get up
Get out, and I said you better not shout
Because without a doubt, I’m inside of you, into your cold
So don’t get bold, you’re old and I’m young
But you’re 17 and I’m 21
The first-born son is the truth of my lies
So hush, little baby, don’t you cry
Sex on the inside hurts on the out
So this goes out to the Commission
Stop rape in prison
Look, and listen
Sexual abuse is a life and death sentence

-Chino, New York

*written at the Prisoner Rape Survivor Summit, Feb. 17, 2007.

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